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Desiree Capuano & James Pendleton
250 E. Placita Lago Del Mago
Sahuarita, AZ     85629
Tel: 520-288-8200
desiree.capuano@gmail.com
japendletonjr@gmail.com
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Re: Something to consider
From: Patrick <patrick@desireecapuano.com>
To: Desiree Capuano <desiree.capuano@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, May 08 2015 9:09:58 pm
Hello, Desiree!

I was going through your old emails, looking for particularly 
interesting ones to highlight on the website, and I came across this 
one.  Now that some time has passed, and the world has had a chance to 
see how much of your words you actually follow through on, I'd like to 
review some of your statements.  Please see my comments, inline.  I've 
highlighted the relevant statements to which I am responding.


On 02/17/2013 10:34 PM, Desiree Capuano wrote:
> Hi,
>
> I want to throw something out there - I want to propose something and 
> I would like for you to consider it.  We can continue to go back and 
> forth, tossing this poor kid between home, between states in this 
> hostile environment for the next...however long.  But the truth is - 
> its exhausting (you can't tell me it's not). As well, G***** will 
> turn 18 in 6 short years. *You and I have very different lifestyles 
> but as I've told him - neither one is wrong - it's just different.*
I disagree.  I believe your way of life is wrong - very wrong!
- You use drugs;
- you don't provide guidance and direction to your children;
- you're irresponsible;
- you blame others for everything that's wrong with your life;
- you take responsibility for absolutely nothing;
- you put your desires before the well being of your children;
- you think that providing the basic necessities of life (food, clothing 
and shelter) are the only obligations you have to your children;
- you put your boyfriends before the needs of your children;
- you tell your children that marijuana is good and that one day they'll 
learn to appreciate it;
- and on and on.

So NO, you are absolutely wrong when you say "neither one is wrong".  
Your way of life is absolutely, unquestionably wrong.  It is a sickness 
and a blight on society (not just you, all trashy people).


> * Regardless of what you may think of me personally, I am a great 
> mother, I am an excellent mother to our son.*
You've had 2 and a half years to prove that you're a good mother, yet 
you've done *nothing* with that time!

You've had two and a half years to prove that you're a good parent and 
you've done absolutely nothing!  G***** has learned nothing from you 
and his life is in no way enriched or better from the 2.5 years he's 
spent with you.  You think that taking him on vacations to meet your 
family is significant?  You think that will make him a better person?  
Come on!

Go on then, prove me wrong.  How have you improved G*****'s life? What 
has he learned from you, other than the kind of women to stay away 
from?  Is he more honest and reliable since staying with you (No, he 
flakes out of a band performance without notice, he hides his school 
information when his grades decline, he keeps secrets from both of us).  
Has his school performance improved?  No, it's gotten worse!  Does he 
stick to something that he shows an interest in?  No, he fiddles with it 
for a while then gives up on it.  Is he able to do normal day to day 
things on his own without depending on an adult to hold his hand?  No.  
It seems the only things he's improved on are the things that I teach 
him and push him to do when he's here.

Am I wrong?  Do you have any evidence to the contrary?

You have him covered on your medical and dental insurance and I'm 
willing to cover all medical costs yet you still don't take him to the 
doctor or dentist for regular checkups.  Does he have any cavities?  You 
have no idea.  Is his blind eye developing properly? How should you know?

And you have the nerve to claim you're an "excellent mother"? Bitch!  
Even *MY* mother provided me medical and dental care (albeit at the 
government's expense, but still).

>  I never speak badly of you, I encourage him to say whatever is on his 
> mind and when he tells me things he's done with you or things he 
> remembers with you I always listen - I even try to remember good or 
> funny times you and I had and I tell them to him.
Really?  From what I'm told you don't tell him shit.  And when you 
occasionally do share stories with them they're usually made up.  I hear 
about them and he has internet access.  It's not hard to verify some of 
what you tell him.

 From what I'm told you rarely give either him or Sage the time of day.  
And when you do it's almost always about something you want to do and 
you want to drag him along.

> *All I want is time to know him.*  I don't want money and I don't care 
> about "winning" in court.
Really?  Then what is all this bullshit you've been pulling for the past 
3 years?  Then why have you repeatedly asked the court to prohibit all 
communication between him and I.  Then why did you withhold my letters 
to him when I was in custody?
>
> There was a time that you considered my offer to help.  I'm proposing 
> almost the same thing now.  Let me keep him during the school year for 
> now.  Let me have time with him and you can do what you need to 
> wherever it is that you plan on settling.  I will not interfere with 
> you talking to him and as soon as you're ready we'll work on getting 
> him to see you - maybe you pay for a flight out and I pay for a flight 
> back.  I have no doubt that you will land a good job and probably be 
> making more money than my conservative salary - which means neither of 
> us will need money from the other.
>
> As a safe measure for you (as I'm sure you would need it to trust me) 
> if I fail to follow through on what I promise - if you feel your not 
> seeing him enough, talking to him enough, or don't agree with the 
> person he grows into while being with me you can always take me back 
> to  court and have the judge return him to you - you and I both know 
> that the judge (for whatever reason) is in your court (so to speak).

As I've said recently, the only time you're amicable or cooperative is 
when you believe the court (or some other authority) is going to go 
completely against you.  You sent me this email when you found out I was 
released from ICE custody and you were sure the court was going to order 
you to return G*****.  As soon as you were confident that wasn't going 
to happen you went right back to being hostile.

Patrick